Rector's Corner

Being Prepared for Being a Christian

I recently met a young lady who reported that her life had become more difficult since becoming a Christian.  Before she was a Christian, she said, she enjoyed sleeping in before going for a long run on Sunday mornings; now, she got up and went to Eucharist.  Before she was a Christian, she read copiously of whatever books caught her fancy; now, she made time to read the Bible, and many of its passages perplexed her.  Before she became a Christian, she imagined that prayer and meditation would bring her peace; now, she told of how prayer was not peaceful but “really hard.”   She was starting to wonder whether there was something wrong with her, if she had chosen the wrong church community, or if she had made the right choice in being baptized.

I immediately recognized that this young woman was experiencing what Ignatius of Loyola (1491-1556) would call “spiritual desolation,” a state in which we experience the work of the Enemy trying to turn us from God.  (“Desolation” is in contrast to “consolation,” when we experience God working to draw us closer.)  Though I was impressed with the community who formed this young woman in the faith – her brothers and sisters had imparted to her the importance of weekly worship and regular prayer – I wondered if her community had given her any indication of how challenging it can be to be a Christian.  How might this young woman’s journey be different if from the outset, her Christian community had been forthright about the challenges that she would face, about the many ways in which the Enemy seeks to sabotage worship and prayer, and about the necessity to appeal to Jesus Christ, the Good Physician, in time of need?

As I consider the story of this young woman, I am reminded of an experiment done by the Israeli army in which different groups of soldiers who had to march 10k in two hours over rough terrain were told different things:

• The first group was told:  “We’re going for a little hike,” without telling the soldiers how far.
• Another group was told:  “We’re going to hike for 10k, but don’t worry, it’ll be really easy.”
• A third group was told:  “We’re going to hike for 10k, and it’s going to be over rough terrain with no sources of water, and we have only two hours to do it.  This is not an easy hike; be sure to be prepared.”

All three groups finished the hike, but they did so differently.  The first group finished reluctantly and sullenly, murmuring about their officer and complaining how miserable army life was.  The second group likewise finished with murmuring and complaining. The last group rose the occasion and hiked not only without complaining, but showed camaraderie and pride in working as a team and seemed open, even eager, for the next challenge.  The study surmised that soldiers are more cohesive and better able to accomplish their mission when they are given a realistic picture of what to expect.

I wonder what Trinity Parish of the future would look like if from the outset – as we prepare candidates for baptism or when we welcome a new member into our community – we were to tell newcomers and candidates for baptism that being a Christian is extremely, richly rewarding… and will often be quite difficult:

• “The gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life…”
• God will not always seem close; indeed, God may often seem completely absent.
• We will go through seasons of seemingly dry and unproductive prayer
• God will not necessarily take away our pain
• Drawing closer to God tends to make us aware of our own sinfulness
• The Evil One will send seemingly innocent, but skilled “saboteurs” to keep us from worship and prayer
• Conflict is part and parcel of life in community
• We will not always be aware of God’s answers to prayer
• We will fall down
• The scriptures will often perplex and challenge us
• The community will sometimes disappoint us
• When God tests us, God tests us up to our very limit (I Cor 10:13)
• The powers of sin and death work harder in us when we become Christians
• We will get discouraged
• It will not always be clear where Jesus is leading
• There will be murmurers and naysayers, perhaps even within
• We will sometimes get lost
• We will not always have answers for why we are suffering
• God’s love and forgiveness can be scary
• God tends to call us to be and do more than we imagine ourselves capable of
• Resurrection cannot come unless we first die

As we stand at the beginning of another year, I will be forthright that the year ahead for us as Christians will not be easy; indeed, in this coming year we Christians are likely to experience many, if not all, of the challenges listed above.  To whom can we turn when we experience the above difficulties?  The good news of Christmas is that we do not have to endure these challenges on our own.  In Jesus Christ, God is with us.  Jesus knows exactly what it’s like to be human – including suffering and death – because he’s been there.  And by his death and resurrection he has triumphed over the Enemy and set us free from every bondage.  When we experience difficulty, we can turn to the Lord.  We can pray to him, talk to him, tell him of our troubles.  Jesus wants above all to have a relationship with us.  We can depend on Jesus Christ and put our trust in him, he will always be with us, and we know that he will work in us for good, bringing about the healing of our souls.

I hope that being clear from the beginning about the challenges we will face can be an occasion, not to think something is wrong with us or to be cynical or to give up, but as an opportunity to turn to Christ, to learn our dependence upon God alone, to grow in relationship to Jesus Christ and to each other, that we may more eagerly carry out our mission to bring the power of Jesus’ death and resurrection to bear for the transformation of human life, setting us free from the power of sin and death.

See you Sunday,

Fr. Miller

Transformed by God’s Spell

A friend who attends many conferences tells me how difficult it is for him to go to the conferences’ opening receptions.  The receptions are held in enormous banquet halls filled with people; there is no place to hide, and he must make small-talk.  A turning point for him came when he realized that others in the reception were probably as nervous as he.  He saw an opportunity to make a difference:  “I realized that I could transform this experience for myself – and others – if I had a few simple, conversation-starting questions,” he said.  So my friend developed a repertoire of simple yet engaging questions that primed conversation and helped others to connect, engage and share.  With the help of his questions, my friend’s experience of conferences was transformed from one of feeling alone, overwhelmed and nervous into an opportunity to help others and to feel connected and part of a whole.
 
My friend’s experience reminds me of the potential we unleash when we become curious enough to ask questions.  Well-crafted, curious questions can open up the possibility for connecting and sharing, for engaging and entering into relationship. Asking questions can lead to wholeness and a sense of place.  Curious questions can open up opportunities to serve and make a difference.  Questions can do all this because when we ask questions, we begin to discover stories, and stories have the power to transform us, to empower us, and to help us create opportunities to do what needs to be done.

Like my conference-attending friend, the author of the Gospel of John knows the power of questions.  Just as my friend enters a conference’s opening banquet with questions to help connect and engage, John enters the gospel with questions: “Who are you?”  “What are you looking for?”  “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?”  (John 1:19, 38 and 46)  Throughout John’s Gospel, the stream of questions continues:   “How can anyone be born after having grown old?”   “Where do you get that living water?”  “How were your eyes opened?”  “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”  “Do you love me?”   Bit by bit John’s questions help us discover the “gospel,” a word derived from “God’s spell,” which is old English for “God’s story.”  “God’s spell” is the extraordinary story of God’s great love for us, how in Christ God became human and dwelled among us, and how through Jesus death and resurrection, God gave us the possibility of life abundant.  If there is a story that has the power to transform and empower, to help us create opportunities to do what needs to be done, it is God’s story as told to us in the gospels.

Beginning this fall at Trinity Parish, we have an extraordinary opportunity to open ourselves to the transforming power of “God’s spell.”  Through the asking of questions and the sharing of our own stories, by connecting and engaging with others and with the scriptures, through careful listening to God and to each other, Growing Together in God: the Catechumenate at Trinity is an opportunity to discover God’s story being told right here, right now, in our lives and in the world around us.  Growing Together in God is a way to find the support needed to live transformed lives, to find wholeness, and to be empowered to do what needs to be done.

I invite you to read “Growing Together in God: the Catechumenate at Trinity” on the front page of this newsletter.  I invite you to ask questions of those who have been part of the process of developing Growing Together in God  – Chuck, Carrie, Heidi, Sharon and me.  I invite you to take part in one of the series of “Come and See” evenings that help introduce Growing Together in God.   We at Trinity Parish have great potential to live and proclaim the Gospel, and we live in a community that has great potential to connect, engage and make a difference in our world.   Why don’t you come and see if anything good can come out of Nazareth?

See you Sunday,

Todd

The Dreams of Kings

We normally think of dreams as internal, individual events.  Dreams are what we do in our minds as we sleep, and nobody is privy to our dreams unless we tell them.  In the second chapter of the book of the prophet Daniel, we read that King Nebuchadnezzar thinks differently about dreams.  Nebuchadnezzar dreams dreams, and then expects others to tell him about his dreams:

In the second year of Nebuchadnezzar’s reign, Nebuchadnezzar dreamed such dreams that his spirit was troubled and his sleep left him.  So the king commanded that the magicians, the enchanters, the sorcerers, and the Chaldeans be summoned to tell the king his dreams. – Daniel 2:1-2

Why did King Nebuchadnezzar ask his magicians to tell him his dreams?  Was he trying to test the abilities of his wise men?  Could he not remember his dreams?  Was he afraid of his dreams?  Did he not really have his own dreams, but wanted instead to hear what others’ dreams for him might be? 

I wonder if Nebuchadnezzar wanted his wise men to tell him his dreams because he needed help articulating what he had dreamed.  His dreams were so unusual, so out of the ordinary, that he lacked not just the language but also the vision to give expression to his dreams.  Nebuchadnezzar knew only that he had dreamed dreams of great import, and that he did not want to forget his dreams.  And his troubled, sleepless spirit told him that he was on the brink of something big.

The story in Daniel chapter 2 about articulating dreams is not merely a story about Neduchadnezzar and the Babylonians several thousand years ago, this story is about us at Trinity parish.  Here at Trinity Parish we are dreaming dreams.  In the vestry, among the wardens, and in our catechumenate, we are dreaming dreams of renewed growth and vitality.  We are dreaming of new ways in which we can serve the community.  We are dreaming of our Christian faith being passed along to friends and neighbors.  We are dreaming of ours and others’ lives being transformed by Christ and the Gospel.  These dreams we are dreaming are in some ways so unusual, so extraordinary that we do not yet have the images and language to express them.  But we know that these dreams are present:  Like living in an earthquake zone where frequent tremors tell those above that great energy lurks below, the rumbling of our dreams lets us know that we are on the verge of something big.

How can we develop images and language to give shape to our dreams?  In the story of Daniel the unified prayer of community is finally able to give image and word to Nebuchadnezzar’s unusual, extraordinary dreams: 

Then Daniel went to his home and informed his companions, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, and told them to seek mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery…  Then the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision of the night. – Daniel 2:17-19

The next day Daniel went to Nebuchadnezzar and interpreted for him his dream of the statue with the golden head but feet of clay. 

If we wish for our dreams to coalesce and to have shape and form, we are, like Daniel and his companions, to ground our lives in prayer.  Only through the space of patient, persistent prayer do we have the possibility to imagine something different, to believe that Christ can transform us, to recognize the extent to which Jesus redeems us, to have boldness in proclaiming his gospel, to know creativity, and to live into a world in which Jesus’ resurrection is a reality.  So often we think of prayer as merely a passive activity, or at best a prelude to action.  But Jesus in the gospels tells us to expect great things from or prayer:

Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.  For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. – Luke 11:9-10

This Pentecost, I am praying that the Holy Spirit will be poured out upon Trinity Parish.  I am asking that the Lord will use us at Trinity to further the spread of the gospel, and that through us others may come to Christ.  I invite you to continue dreaming, to wonder at the extraordinary things happening at Trinity, things for which we may not now be able to find images or even language to articulate.  And I invite you to join me in prayer for Trinity.  If we are faithful in worship and in our prayer, who knows what doors may be opened to us, what images may be revealed to us? 

See you Sunday,

Rector's Column: Joyful Weeping

Lent is a season of great joy.  Yes, I know that Lent is a season of “self-examination and repentance… fasting, prayer and self-denial” (see the BCP, pp 264-265), and I know that these disciplines are not necessarily joyful when we practice them; indeed, practicing Lenten disciplines may in the moment feel decidedly un-joyful!  Yet, in spite of these disciplines – or perhaps because of them – Lent is a season of great joy. 

In the book of the prophet Ezra is a story that provides a helpful image for the particular kind of joy that we find in Lent.  The opening chapters of the book of Ezra tell how the Israelites who had been exiled to Babylon are finally allowed to return to Jerusalem in order to rebuild the temple.  As the temple foundation is laid, the Israelites react simultaneously with weeping and joyful shouts:
 
And all the people responded with a great shout when they praised the Lord, because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid.  But many of the priests and Levites and heads of families, old people who had seen the first house on its foundations, wept with a loud voice when they saw this house, though many shouted aloud for joy, so that the people could not distinguish the sound of the joyful shout from the sound of the people’s weeping. – Ezra 3:11-13

This story in Ezra is not merely about the new foundation of the temple, this story is about our souls. This story tells that deepening in our spiritual lives can simultaneously produce tears and joy.
Spiritual progress is rarely easy.  God may be kind and tender to those who are just starting out on the journey.  Like the 10,000 bonus miles a credit card company gives a new customer for signing up for its airline rewards credit card, God showers comforting graces and blessings upon the soul when it first turns to God.  But, as all the great spiritual writers – from the desert fathers to John of the Cross to Dietrich Bonhoeffer – confirm, after the initial 10,000 bonus miles, we must pay, sometimes dearly, for every subsequent mile.  “You have made progress,” God says in effect.  “But do you really think that you know who I am?  What you’ve seen so far is only a small part of the truth.  I have so much more to show you!”  And, in what can be only in retrospect an act of great love, God “pulls the rug out” from under us.    Just as we have begun to be comfortable in our spiritual life, God sends us adversity, God hides himself from us and tests us, in order that he might bring us to a new and deeper place, a place in which he may more fully show us his glory.   When this adversity comes, we remember our “temple” the way it used to be before our exile, we yearn for its familiarity and comfort, and we dislike the foundations that are presently being laid.  Our souls weep. 

Yet this experience can be at the same time an experience of joy.   As the writer of Hebrews reminds us, “Discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruits of righteousness for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11).  We may be uncomfortable, even unhappy, as we are faithful to our spiritual disciplines and make progress on the way, but our souls sense that we are drawing closer to God.  God is object of our souls’ desire; our souls long for God and want to be with God.  And so we shout for joy as we persevere in our disciplines and draw closer to God.
 
For those who accept Lent’s invitation to spiritual discipline, there will always be “weeping;” spiritual discipline is rarely easy.  Yet there is no life more rewarding than is the life of a disciple.  The faithful disciple is one who knows joy, who follows our Lord on the way, who is drawing ever closer to our hearts’ desire.

Lent is a season of joy.  There is the sound of weeping mixed in to our shouts, but this joyful weeping is the sound of spiritual foundations being built, and this sound is the hope of our “temple” being restored.

See you Sunday,

The Rev. Todd Miller

Rector's Column: Epiphany Sleuths 

In Lesser Feasts and Fasts, the book about the saints and feast days in the church’s calendar, we read the following about the Feast of the Epiphany, January 6: 

The name “Epiphany” is derived from a Greek word meaning “manifestation” or “appearing.”  Anglican Prayer Books interpret the word with an alternative title, “The Manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles.”  The last phrase, of course, is a reference to the story of the Wise Men from the East…  The feast combines commemorations of the visit of the magi, led by the star of Bethlehem; the Baptism of Jesus in the waters of the River Jordan; and Jesus’ first recorded miracle, the changing of water into wine at the marriage of Cana of Galilee. – page 118

What is the “manifestation” God wishes for us to see in these stories?  What “epiphanies” might await us in our future together at Trinity Parish?  That the Feast of the Epiphany is celebrated by not merely one, but three, stories, suggests that there is no easy answer.  Some sleuthing is required.
 
The Rt. Rev. Andrew Wisseman, the former bishop of the diocese of Western Massachusetts, once said that in his life with God, he always felt as though he were “just around the corner” from discovering something extraordinary.  He would make his way forward, he felt, to the next “corner” and peer around, only to discover that what he sought had moved on.  Likewise, in his book The Life of Moses, Gregory of Nyssa (c. 334-394) said that the reason Moses saw only God’s back (Exodus 33) was because God is always in front of us, leading us on.

God is always in front of us, leading us on.  If we want to discover what God wishes for us to see, what “epiphanies” might await us in our future together at Trinity Parish, it helps to be sleuths who follow the trail.  We are to be sleuths of the scriptures.  What is the star that guides us, and what is it that we seek?  Where is the River Jordan in which the Christ can be found, where is its origin and where does it flow?  How is Christ present among the ordinary events of our life, and what is the water that he can change to wine?   We are to be sleuths of the Spirit.  How is the Spirit present among us, and what is the Spirit calling us to be and do?  How might we together hear the Spirit’s voice and move forward?  How will we recognize that it is truly God’s back that we are following?  And we are to be sleuths of society.  What are the needs of the world around us?  What do we have in Christ that is able to satisfy the hunger and thirst of those around us?  As we sleuth, we are to keep in mind that a sign of being on the right track is not so much a sense of arrival, but a sense that we are “just around the corner” from something extraordinary.  God is not one to show us his whole hand; rather, we see only glimpses of his back as we, like Moses, peer through the smoke from our cleft in the rock.

This Epiphany season marks the beginning at Trinity Parish of two ancient, time-tested ways of sleuthing.  Beginning with the Feast of the Holy Name on Thursday, January 1 and the Feast of the Epiphany on Tuesday, January 6, we at Trinity Parish will begin observing some of the major feasts of the church calendar.  (See article.)  I invite you to follow the trail with us through the scriptures and sacraments we celebrate these feasts at mid-week Eucharists.  Beginning on Wednesday, January 14, and continuing for eleven Wednesdays through the spring, a group of Trinity Parishioners will gather around the scriptures, search for the movement of the Spirit in their lives and explore how God is calling them to live in the world.  “Sealed and Sent Forth” is based on the ancient catechumenate and builds on Trinity’s love for community, learning, food and getting to know each other better in the context of God.  (See article.) 

I wish you a blessed New Year, and I look forward to our life together in the months to come.

See you Sunday,

Rector’s Column:  Prayer and Adaptive Change

As many of you know, the vestry this past July adopted a process of revitalization and renewal for Trinity Parish.  The first step of this renewal process is to ground our parish life in prayer.  (To see the other four steps in the renewal process, see the vestry’s newsprint posted in the Sullivan Room.)  Trinity Parish already offers many opportunities to help you to ground your life, and by extension the parish’s life, in prayer:

• We have weekly Eucharists not only on Sunday morning but also on Wednesday evenings at 7:00.

• The church is open at least a half hour in advance of each Eucharist.  Come early and take time to pray before the Eucharist!

• Trinity Parish offers centering prayer every Sunday morning at 9:15-9:45 in the Sullivan Room.

• We have a weekly Bible study on Tuesday mornings at 5:45am.

• We have weekly Morning Prayer on Tuesday mornings at 6:45 am.

• Trinity offers a Tuesday morning “Covenant Group” in which members support each other in spiritual disciplines.

• Many Trinity parishioners have participated in various discernment groups – e.g., to discern how to best help candidates be prepared for Baptism, to discern how to be faithful disciples in relation to money, to discern spiritual gifts – that are rooted in scripture and prayer.

• We held a “First Time in Prayer and Quiet” workshop on October 5.  We will offer a repeat of the same workshop after the service on December 7.

• Trinity recently installed a prayer station – votive candles, a kneeler and a book for prayer requests – at the rear of the church.

Though all of us already pray – we human beings were created to pray, and we cannot help but pray – our Christian tradition tells us that to uncover that prayer and to ground our lives in it is not always easy.  Theresa of Avila (1515-1582), one of the great pray-ers of the church, wrote that, “Over a period of several years…  whenever I entered the oratory I used to feel so depressed that I had to summon up all my courage to make myself pray at all.”  To ground our life in prayer can be like making what Ron Heifetz of Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government calls an “adaptive change.”   (See http://www.cambridge-leadership.com/publications/pdfs/heifetz_interview.pdf for an interview with Prof. Heifetz.)  “Adaptive” changes are unlike “technical” changes in which a solution to a problem is known and can be applied.  Adaptive changes call for a shift in mindset and usually involve a period of uncertainly, confusion and loss. 

Technical Change

• Problems are amenable to solutions

• People already know what to do and how to do it

• Problems are not trivial, but solutions are within a person’s abilities

• Solutions are not necessarily easy, but expertise and knowledge are available

Adaptive Change

• People’s hearts and minds need to change, not merely their likes and dislikes

• Leaders ask questions that challenge people’s beliefs

• Problems require a mindset shift that will result in some loss, especially for those who benefited from previous circumstances or patterns

• People are challenged to use their competence to bring about new solutions.  Leaders bring people’s attention to the change and expect them to take responsibility for it.

• Change involves new experiments, uncertainty, and loss

• Adaptive change is always resisted

How do we move through adaptive change?  Three things can help:  1)  Be aware of the dynamics of adaptive change.  2) Time. 3) Staying engaged. 

Be aware of the dynamics of adaptive change.  Awareness gives us the power of choice.  If we are able to be aware of adaptive change, then we can prepare ourselves to expect uncertainty, confusion and loss, and we can choose to manage our internal resistance. 

Time.  Though we dislike discomfort and would like to move past it quickly, moving through adaptive change does not happen overnight.  Adaptive change takes time.  Patience is needed.

Stay engaged.  Rather than endure the discomfort of uncertainty, confusion and loss, it is tempting to disengage at times of adaptive change.  The path to growth and maturity is to stay engaged.

It comes as no surprise that the work of grounding our life in prayer is difficult – the change that the Gospel calls for in our lives is an adaptive change, e.g., “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” – Mark 8:34    As Trinity Parish moves to ground its life in prayer, I encourage you to be aware of the dynamics of adaptive change.  I invite you to notice your own resistances to prayer – these resistances are natural, and all of us have them.  I invite you to be patient with yourself and with others – grounding our parish life in prayer will take time.  And I invite you to stay engaged – it is the path to growth and maturity.   As we each take responsibility to be patient with ourselves and one another, to manage our resistances and to stay engaged, the grounding of our life in prayer can be a journey that revitalizes and renews us as followers of Christ.
 
See you Sunday,
Fr. Miller

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Rector’s Column:  Parish Renewal

Eating chips and watching TV might be something we do in response to stress.  But is it renewing?  What we do in response to stress is not the same as renewal.  Renewal is about what ultimately satisfies the heart, not just the senses.  Renewal is about joy rather than happiness.  Renewal almost always requires effort at first, only later yielding its rewards.  Renewal provides a source of strength, a place of peace, a sense of wholeness.  Renewal is not dependent on life’s outward circumstances, but can occur anywhere and anytime and under any conditions. Renewal is something that is within reach of all, yet is frequently hidden.  Renewal is rarely instantaneous, sometimes blossoming only after a long winter.  Renewal is often preceded by a time of aimless wandering before giving way to direction and purpose.  Renewal does not necessarily mean being content.  Renewal is often known because of the presence of generosity, patience and gentleness. 

I have a hunch that all of us desire renewal.  All of our lives are marked by stress, uncertainty, frustration and brokenness.  And most people have the desire to lead wonderful lives and to do wonderful things in our families, workplaces and in the community.  Where can we find the renewal that our souls crave?

Renewal is the work of the Holy Spirit, who dwells in every human heart and who desires all to live in union with God.  When we uncover that Spirit and accept the Spirit’s invitation to move closer to God, we experience renewal as we become more the persons God created us to be.  This uncovering of the Spirit and the accepting of God’s gracious invitation is the essence of prayer.  Prayer is the first step to finding renewal. 

“Prayer” can sound intimidating.  “Prayer is for monks and nuns,” we might think.  Or, “Prayer is extremely difficult or dull.”  “Prayer is for particularly needy people,” or “Prayer is for normal people, but only in times of particular need.”  “I don’t know how to pray,” we might say.  Or,  “Prayer does no good.”  Prayer, however, is not something esoteric, given only to a few.  All of us already pray – or, rather, the Holy Spirit within our hearts already prays.  The only thing we need to do is to uncover that prayer, to own it and claim it and to develop it.  And though the Christian faith over two millenniums has discerned several patterns into which prayer tends to fall, there are as many different ways of praying as there are people in the world – each person’s prayer is unique.  It is up to us pray the prayer that only we can pray.  Some Christians have fairly disciplined lives of prayer: they attend Eucharist every Sunday; they pray the Daily Office or read from the scriptures during the week, and they keep a running list of people and concerns for whom they intercede.  Others may pray short intercessions or thanksgivings throughout the day, thanking God or asking God for something as the awareness arises.  Some may set aside regular quiet times during the week to be in solitude. For some, certain tasks or types of work may be prayerful.  For parents of young children, being attentive to children’s needs and relishing the miracle of birth and life may be the only opportunity for prayer.  Whatever our prayer looks like, the call is always to develop the prayer we already have, to take the next step to more fully accept the Spirit’s invitation, and to enter deeper into relationship with God.

This year at Trinity Parish, it is my hope that we can begin to find renewal.  And the first step toward renewal is to uncover the prayer that all of us already pray.  The vestry and I are in discussion as to how we can best ground our parish’s life in prayer.  I ask that you please do two things:  1)  Please take note of upcoming publicity surrounding opportunities at Trinity Parish to learn about prayer.  Check newsletters and read the E-weekly!  2)  Please become aware of the ways in which you already pray.  Your awareness will not only prepare you if you participate in prayer workshops and opportunities at Trinity, but is a first step in tapping into a source of infinite renewal.

See you Sunday,

Todd

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New Year, New Life:  Steps Toward Spiritual Renewal

The First Sunday of Advent (this year December 2) is the first day of the Christian church year – the Church’s New Year’s Day.  The Church’s new year is an appropriate time to take stock of our spiritual lives, to consider how we are living them, and to make adjustments in our course.

Those of you who pray the Daily Office (i.e., Morning and Evening Prayer, which can be found in the Book of Common Prayer beginning on page 75) will recall that during the month of October and into November the readings from the Hebrew scriptures were from the books of Ezra and Nehemiah, books about the return of the exiles from Babylon to Jerusalem in the 6th century BC.  (When Jeruslaem fell to the Babylonians in 587, much of the population was taken away to exile in Babylon.  Beginning in 539 BC the Jews were allowed to return.   To read more about how the exile came about, see the latter chapters of 2 Kings, and also Jeremiah 35-39.  For accounts of the return, see Ezra and Nehemiah.)  If you do not say the Office, I encourage you to read these books in your Bible.  Ezra and Nehemiah can be found in the Old Testament just after 1 & 2 Chronicles and before Esther and Job.

The scriptures of the return in Ezra and Nehemiah are scriptures about spiritual renewal.  The experience of Ezra and Nehemiah and the clans of Judah as they return from exile and re-establish Jerusalem and its temple parallel our attempts today to find “home” and kindle a spiritual life.  Exile and Prayer
I suspect that all of us are, to some degree or another, in exile.  We were created for union with God (e.g., see BCP p 845), and all of us to some extent live apart from God.  Living apart from God, the “home” for which we were created, creates a sense of exile.  Deep down inside, all of us have anxiety, restlessness, and uneasiness, feelings that arise from the parts of us that are in “exile” from God.  Augustine gives voice to these feelings in the famous line from his Confessions:  “Our hearts are restless until they rest in God.” 

In the opening chapters of Nehemiah, Nehemiah breaks down and weeps when he hears about the ruins of Jerusalem and goes about for days in sadness; he is feeling the anxiety and unease that come from being in exile.  As the king rightly observed, Nehemiah has “sadness of the heart” (Neh 2:2).  Notice the first thing Nehemiah does to address his sadness – he prays, asking God for help (Neh 1:5-11). 

To what extent might you suffer from a “sadness of the heart?”  To what extent are you in exile and away from “home?”  Spend some time in quiet over the course of a few days and ask yourself these questions.  Write your reflections down if you need to.  Then pray.  Like Nehemiah, the first step to finding home is to pray, asking God for help to gather the exiled home.

Integrity
The very first thing the exiles do upon their return to Jerusalem is to set about rebuilding the city walls.  Boundaries are important, helping to establish integrity.  Without boundaries, a person or group has no identity, is subject to the whim of whom- or whatever passes by, and has no ability to define itself.  (Think immune system.)   Boundaries often have a bad “rap” today – we want to break down barriers and to be inclusive – but this is to misconstrue the true nature of boundaries.  Boundaries are necessary for an organism’s health and integrity.  Nehemiah knows this, and the first thing he sets out to do is to rebuild the walls (Neh 2:17ff).

If we would find renewal in our spiritual life we, too, must develop integrity.  We are to develop boundaries that define ourselves, and to pay close attention to what we let in.  As Episcopalians, our spiritual “walls” are traditionally built with the three-fold discipline of Eucharist, Daily Office and private prayer.  If we are faithful in establishing these boundaries and remain within them, we will be safe no matter what happens. 

To take up the three-fold discipline of Eucharist, Daily Office and personal devotion will be a big leap for some.  Start with a manageable commitment, such as faithfully attending Sunday Eucharist.  After a few weeks or months, start to set aside a few minutes at the beginning and end of each day to pray the short devotions found in the Prayer Book beginning on page 136.  Gradually add in, say, ten minutes three times per week to just sit in silence and tell God what is on your heart.  Pay attention to what you “let in” to your space and your schedule.  If anything helps your discipline, let it “in;”  if something hinders your commitment, leave it “out.” 

Resistance
As you seek to find renewal, be aware that all attempts at spiritual renewal, be they individual or communal, will be met with Resistance.  ALL attempts – no exceptions!  Notice how not only did enemies attempt to prevent Nehemiah from rebuilding the wall (e.g., Saballat, Tobiah and Geshem – see Neh 2:19), but also Ezra from rebuilding the temple (see Ezra 4).  In the spiritual life, the powers of evil do not trouble us so long as our “walls” and “temple” lay in ruins; they only pay attention to us if we try to rebuild.  Ancient maxim:  The closer we get to God, the harder the powers of evil work against us.  This truth of the tradition is humorously portrayed in a modern classic, The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis, in which the young devil Wormwood is advised by his Uncle Screwtape that he need not worry about those who are slack in their devotion, but would do better to expend his energies on those who are trying to be faithful.  When we encounter resistance, the best remedy is to remain faithful to our discipline that we are establishing with the Eucharist, Daily Office and personal devotions.

Community and Patience
Spiritual renewal is never a solo activity; it is always the product of community.  Nehemiah’s workers could not have built and defended the wall by themselves.  Ezra’s workers could not have built the Temple without the help of many others.  We have great strength and resources for renewal so long as we are gathered together.  We are likely to falter and to make no progress if we try to find renewal on our own. 

The first discipline of spiritual renewal in our Anglican tradition is a communal one:  we gather for Eucharist.  If you would find renewal, keep coming to Eucharist!  And if you’re not in the habit of gathering for Eucharist, try starting.  The Eucharist is the primary place of formation and spiritual deepening for us as Episcopalians.  We are unlikely to see progress on the journey without being faithful to our discipline of gathering weekly for Eucharist.  If you need to, find somebody with whom you can covenant to hold each other accountable for being at the Eucharist on Sunday morning.

And be patient!  Spiritual renewal takes time.  Ezra and Nehemiah did not rebuild the walls and the temple in a day – their completion took months and ultimately years.  Likewise, we are called to be patient as we seek to find renewal in our spiritual life – renewal will not happen overnight.  Spiritual renewal will likely go through seasons of fear and setback (e.g., see Ezra 4).  Be patient, mind the integrity of your “walls” (i.e., stick to your discipline), and know that periods of dryness or resistance are necessary for growth and deepening. 

See you Sunday,
Todd

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Why I Give

In a word, Joy.  I give because of joy.  No, I do not give because I am naturally joy-filled and giving is a response to an inner joy that I already posses. I give in order to have joy. It may seem odd, that to give away a substantial portion of my income would bring joy.  One might think that generous giving might exacerbate an already stress-filled life:  “Money is an area of stress for me,” we might say.  “I worry frequently about money, about not having enough.  Having even less of it would only make me worry more.”  Those of you who are already 10 percent givers know these concerns to be natural… and not at all based on reality.
 
When Ashley and I became 10 % givers, we were not in a “comfortable” place to do so.  Most people probably would have said we were foolish in our situation to try to give away 10% of our income:  we had a house payment, we had a car payment, we had preschool tuition and childcare to pay for, we had an educational loan to pay off, only one of us had (minimal) retirement savings, we had no “emergency” fund for medical emergencies, we had no college savings plan for our children.  “How can we possibly give away 10 percent of our income on top of all our other (perceived) obligations,” we wondered? 

At the time, we lived in  Andover – right next door to Lawrence, where I’m told the median annual household income is $16,000 – and we saw regularly how little others had to live on. “If we are unable to give away 10 percent of our income to God,” we said to ourselves, “it means that our standard of living is too high.”  We cut corners, scrounged and saved, and managed to give 10 percent.  Yes, there were things we didn’t have or didn’t do, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything.  The joy we received from giving to God was more than worth it.  (Much more than worth it!) 
 
Ashley and I vowed to become ten percent givers while I was in seminary in Alexandria, Viriginia.  Toward the end of one semester we had no money – literally, no money.  Our bills and rent were coming due, we had young mouths to feed, and our checkbook was empty.   As Ashley and I stressed and worried about what to do, I remembered what one man from my home parish in Santa Barbara told me before we left for Alexandria:  “If you need anything, just ask.”  I swallowed my pride, gave him a call, and asked if we might please have money to help cover our bills until the next financial aid payment came in. Without missing a beat, Art said, “Of course.  I’d be glad to.  I’ll send it right away.”  When the check came, Ashley and I burst into tears – the check was for substantially more than we had asked.  Overwhelmed by this man’s generosity, we promised each other right then and there that, when we had salaries, we would give ten percent to God.

[We’ve discovered an amazing, counter-intuitive truth in our giving 10%:  giving generously makes us realize how we have been blessed with abundance.  Before our seminary experience, we gave only stingily to the local parish.  We worried regularly about not having enough money, and I remember our life to have been cramped and narrow as we let an attitude of scarcity limit our capacity for joy.

We have not worried about money since we’ve become 10% givers.  In a miraculous, grace-filled way, giving to God makes us feel as though we have plenty. I do not know why this is true.  I only know that it is true.   Even if it means never going back to Europe for vacation, even if it means not having the few material things that I covet, even if it means living less comfortably and more precariously than my neighbors, I could never go back to giving stingily.  I have joy.

Trinity Parish is already a pretty great place.  I dream of the extraordinary place Trinity Parish could be like if more of us had the joy that comes from giving generously to God.

See you Sunday,

Todd

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In his book Prayer: The Mission of the Church,
Jean Danielou writes the following:

“To be occupied with God is the greatest occupation.  But it requires an apprenticeship.  All Christians... must be persuaded that prayer is essential in the order of values, and they must be prepared to make a minimum of sacrifices so that prayer can have a place in their lives.” 
This coming year we at Trinity will be entering into an apprenticeship in “the greatest occupation.”  Using some of the time-tested forms of prayer from the Tradition, this year’s formation offerings for adults will help us uncover our prayer.  Please see inside for the descriptions of four “modules” – session lasting four or five weeks – that will introduce Trinity to 1)  a method for doing group scripture reflection, 2)  to centering prayer, 3)  to making an Examination of Conscience, and 4)  to praying the Daily Office.  Trinity’s most intensive formation offering is “Dawntreaders,” a seven-month disciplined exploration into the depths of our scriptures, sacraments and prayer.
This year at Trinity we will pray to help Trinity make some of the concrete decisions of our life together.  Throughout the year we will be having different groups gather around scripture to pray and discern around topics such as: “How can we best help people be prepared for Baptism?”  “How we can help each other be faithful disciples in relation to our money?”  “How can we best introduce our young people to the Christian faith?”  “How can we bring our young people to a place where they can freely choose (or not) Confirmation?”  “How can we help Trinity Parish grow in faith?”  “How can we help Trinity Parish grow in numbers?”
Our liturgy, too, will help us deepen our primary “occupation.”  This year we will on a trial basis engage with rich symbolism in our liturgy.  We will be using incense twice monthly – a symbol of our prayers rising to God and a way of engaging all our senses in prayer.  I am looking for a rota of bread bakers to provide real bread – instead of wafers –  for our Eucharist.  The smell, feel and taste of real bread communicates a very different message than do wafers.  I will continue to use silence during the liturgy to make more space for prayer.  I will work with our lectors to help them improve their lectoring so that we may better receive the Word. 
As Danielou notes, we “must be prepared to make a minimum of sacrifices so that prayer can have a place in [our] lives.”  As do all relationships, prayer takes time.  I encourage you to take advantage not only of Trinity’s formation offerings on prayer, but also of our regular Sunday and mid-week worship services.  The solid food and abundant water of our Tradition has satisfied the hunger and quenched the thirst of millions for nearly 2,000 years.  Chances are that Trinity can help you find what you’re looking for — if you’re willing to take the time.
 
See you Sunday,

Todd

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On Being Busy

Over the past weeks since the fall began, I have heard a number of people say how busy they are.  I have heard people say how much like a bus driver they feel, driving kids to and from soccer and hockey games, to speech tournaments and to birthday parties.  I have heard people stressing about meeting deadlines at work, wondering how they were going to find time to care for elderly parents, anxious because they are trying to squeeze in the PTO and music lessons and still put dinner on the table.  Some say they are even too busy to come to church on Sunday mornings.  Hearing this is what made me realize that our lives might be out of balance.

Our Christian tradition has advice on busy-ness.  The following story told about Mother Theresa of Calcutta reflects that advice:
 
Once when Mother Theresa was paying a visit to one of the convents of her order, the sister in charge greeted her at the door, welcomed her in, and began briefing her on the convent schedule during her stay.  When the sister had finished, Mother Theresa asked her at what time the sisters were planning to keep their hour of meditation.  “Oh,” replied the sister, “with all that is happening for your visit, we’ve decided to forego our prayer time for the next few days.”  “You’re too busy for one hour of meditation?” Mother Theresa is said to have responded. “In that case, I recommend that you pray for two hours.” 

It is counter-intuitive to add one more thing to our schedules when we are extremely busy, but traditional Christian teaching on the spiritual life urges us to do just that:  it is when we are extremely busy that we most need to pray.  And if you already pray, pray twice as much.  As the fall continues – and as our schedules continue to be filled with hockey, homework, home maintenance and PTO – I encourage you to schedule time for prayer into your calendar.  Make attending church on Sunday a priority.  If you already attend on Sunday morning, try attending Trinity’s Wednesday evening Eucharist at 7:00.  Schedule time to meditate, to pray, to read the scriptures, or to just sit in silence.  If you do not already have a discipline of quiet time, try taking just ten minutes a day to read the scriptures, to pray (for starters, take home the Sunday bulletin and pray for the names listed there), or simply sit in silence and ask God to be present to you. 

Thomas Kelly, in A Testament of Devotion, writes that “Deep within us all there is an amazing inner sanctuary of the soul, a holy place, a Divine Center, a speaking Voice, to which we may continuously return.”  For us Christians, this sanctuary and this voice is the Holy Spirit whom God has sent into our hearts to cry, “Abba! Father!”  One of the best things we can do for ourselves and for those around us during times of extreme busy-ness is to return to our “inner sanctuary” and to listen for this voice that consoles, carries, sustains, heals, nurtures and loves us, the voice of the one that tells us that his yoke is easy and his burden is light, who urges us to come away and rest.  If we do not take the time to pray, we will be cut off from the very source that has the potential to bring transformation, rest and renewal; our lives will never really change, and we will continue to be enslaved to busy-ness.  I have a hunch that, if we follow the advice of our Tradition and pray more during times of busy-ness, we will be surprised that in spite of – or perhaps because of – adding a discipline of prayer to our busy schedules, everything that needs to get done will still get done. And, more importantly, we will continue to press on toward our goal of God in Christ Jesus.

See you Sunday,

Todd